So the BBC probably never said that thing about people only reading six books or whatever. But since confession is supposed to be good for the soul, here's a list of my own:
Twenty-Five Books I Am Ashamed of Not Having Read:
1.
Bleak House--Uncle Mark was my AP English teacher, and he assigned it to us, but seventeen-year-old Katie was all like, "It's eight hundred pages long! And he keeps talking about the stupid fog!" Mark still lectures me about it every time I see him.
2.
1984--I like Orwell. I like dystopian literature. I don't know why I haven't read it yet.
3.
Brave New World--Not only have I not read it, I'm constantly confusing it with
1984.
4.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being--Laura gave it to me for Christmas ten years ago, and I love the movie. But have I read it? No. And yet I've read Valley of the Dolls three times.
5.
Howard's End--Couldn't even tell you what it's about.
6.
Swann's Way--I always try to read it in French, telling myself that I since I have a freaking French degree, it would be wrong to read a translation. So thanks to my own pretentiousness, I never make it past page six.
7.
Anna Karenina--Is this the one where she throws herself in front of a train?
8.
Madame Bovary--Or is it this one?
9.
Moby Dick--I haven't read it. But I have seen the
cartoon.
10.
Ulysses--I know, I know.
11.
Finnegan's Wake--Sigh. I know.
12.
As I Lay Dying--I've taken three southern literature classes, each with a heavy emphasis on Faulkner. Somehow I never got around to this one.
13.
Waiting for Godot--As I understand it, he never shows up.
14.
The Satanic Verses--I started reading it on a plane, not knowing that it begins with a hijacking. I'm a nervous enough flyer without any help from Mr. Rushdie.
15.
Troilus and Cressida--It was assigned in two of my Shakespeare classes, and I slacked off both times.
16.
We Were the Mulvaneys--I love Oates, and I also love titles that are complete sentences, like
A Good Man Is Hard to Find, or
Don't Bend over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes. I don't know why I haven't read it.
17.
Invisible Man--But I do know that it's different from
The Invisible Man.
18.
Women in Love--In fact, "The Rocking Horse Winner" is the only D. H. Lawrence I've ever read.
19.
Tess of the D'Urbervilles--Once Uncle Mark asked me what Hardy I've read, and I lied and said I'd read
Tess, but really I've only seen part of the miniseries.
20.
Oliver Twist--I really think I'd get into this one, too--the main character's a kittycat, right?
21.
Crime and Punishment--I spent four years as a Russian major, pretending to get everyone's Dostoevsky jokes, of which there were many, because Russian majors are big dorks.
22.
Daisy Miller--I also always laugh at that one
Gilmore Girls episode with all the Daisy Miller jokes, but I have no idea what they mean.
23.
Of Human Bondage--I bought a copy, because I thought it sounded kinky, but I think I was misled.
24.
The Call of the Wild--On second thought, I'm not ashamed of this one; I hate nature crap.
25.
The Red Badge of Courage--That one's really short, too; I probably could have read a good chunk of it in the time it took me to compile this list.
***Bonus shame!!*** Additionally, although I have probably read every word Dave Barry ever wrote, I have never read
anything by Willa Cather. I have never read anything by Norman Mailer (Mailor?) or James Dickey. I haven't read any of Updike's Rabbit novels, although I do know that they are not about literal rabbits (oh, yeah--haven't read
Watership Down either). I have never read any books by Saul Bellow. In fact, I can't think of a single title of a Saul Bellow book. I'm not really sure how I know his name. I guess I have a lot of
reading ahead of me.