I Am the Charlie-Brown-with-the-Football of Submitting to McSweeney's

So, I'm going to have to extend my project. I'll never have a rejection letter for every letter of the alphabet by the end of the year at this point, not when I keep returning to the same magazines as a dog returns to its vomit. (Sorry--I was just reading from Proverbs.)

I remember in my high school and undergrad creative writing classes how we were always warned about the submissions process and how it takes years before you even get good rejections and then maybe one day some magazine no one's heard of will accept something and then eventually you can move on to magazines that a few dozen people read, and maybe one day before you die you'll get something in Glimmer Train or something. And deep down I always thought: It'll be different for me. I'm going to send this story about a girl in college who wanders around and thinks about stuff straight to the New Yorker, and they are going to publish the shit out of it.

But this time I at least got a more specific rejection, so that's progress maybe(?):

While this certainly mounts an impressive war on Xmas, I’m afraid I’m going to pass. Thanks for the read.

Also, I am now completely obsessed with rejectionwiki.com. How did I not know about it before?