A for Effort

From AGNI: "We enjoyed the writing and the voice, but finally the essay wasn't quite right for us. Many thanks."

Not too bad. It's only March, and I've already got A B G M N O Q U S. Holly suggested that I rearrange the texts of the actual messages to write suicide notes.

Ex: Dear Eds.

Earth does not meet my present needs, despite its evident merit.

The "earth" is from Blue Earth Review. I guess this sounds more like an "I'm becoming an astronaut" note, but I couldn't really find any other words that conveyed the idea of life or death. That could work, though, if I killed myself right after my astronaut story got rejected again. Or maybe I should submit something to Southern Living--then I could have "Thanks for the living, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass." They probably don't take unsolicited submissions, though. So I guess the suicide will have to wait.

Maybe I should submit to Bomb magazine--then I could turn my rejections into some kind of crazy anti-government manifesto.